For a long time, I would take everything personally.
Every comment, every action from others seemed like a direct assault on my character. It took me a while to find my true freedom.
This transformation didn’t happen overnight, nor was it triggered by a single book, talk, or movie. It wasn’t an ‘aha’ moment, as psychologists might phrase it.
Instead, it emerged from the culmination of life’s experiences: reading countless books, watching documentaries, listening to podcasts, and, most importantly, engaging in deep conversations with my dear friends, therapists and individuals who shared similar stories.
Unfortunately, much of this growth comes from my own unpleasant experiences. Perhaps, in the end, it is simply what we call maturity.
Psychology has shown that seeking external validation can lead to low self-esteem and increased stress.
So, why do that to myself? I can’t control what others say to me, but I can control how I respond and how much of it I take personally.
This is an important point here—while it’s healthy not to be overly concerned with others’ opinions, completely disregarding them can seem arrogant or uncaring. There\’s a difference between valuing your own opinion and dismissing the thoughts and feelings of others. Maintaining this balance is essential.
Here is my way of dealing with it.
First, I evaluate the credibility and intentions of the person giving the feedback. Is it a trusted friend or a mentor who has your best interests at heart or is it a negative comment from someone else who you do not care about?
It\’s important to protect my emotional well-being by setting healthy boundaries with people who consistently offer negative or unhelpful criticism.
Then I assess whether their words hold any value. Constructive criticism can be a valuable tool for personal growth and improvement.
If a response is necessary, I do it calmly and thoughtfully. I acknowledge the person\’s perspective, but staying true to my beliefs and values, always mindful of my worth.
I’m learning that not reacting doesn’t mean I’m okay with things. It just means I’m choosing to rise above them. I’m choosing my peace of mind because, at this point in my life, that’s what I truly need. I don’t need drama.
Sometimes, not saying anything at all says everything.
The ultimate sign of maturity might be walking away because the energy it takes to react to every negative thing drains me.
Even if I react, it won’t change anything. It won’t make people suddenly love and respect me or magically change their minds. Explaining myself won’t change anything either.
Here I am, doing my best, being the best version of myself, yet you still draw these conclusions about me? What else could I possibly say to change someone’s mind?
I can go on forever regarding this issue, but I am going to finish it here, because the shorter it is, the more people will read this, giving me the opportunity to reach out to them.
Conclusion
Taking nothing personally is a superpower that has transformed my life. It has given me the freedom to live authentically, with confidence and peace.
Embracing this mindset has allowed me to focus on what truly matters: my well-being and happiness.
I hope these thoughts help you do the same for yourself.